Sometimes I think life is beautiful. Sometimes I think life is harsh. I envy those who have a constant positive outlook on life. I envy them because I know how hard it is to sustain. There is a notion you often hear about one making it. I have often thought about my personal situation and wondered whether I've "made it". I've finished my schooling, got a University education, have a fairly decent career, family, etc ... In the spectrum of life accumulations those would probably have to be pretty high up there. I have not really explored the space of business though. I never really considered myself a businessman because I don't really have the demeanor and secondly I am not very good at soliciting people's money! I think I'm a little bit too honest. Most of all I think I am a little bit too conservative.
If I had to define myself I would say I am a simple guy who contradicted his fate by choosing the complexity route. Sometimes I do wish I had taken the simple route. Stay home on the islands, maybe engage in a little subsistence agriculture and do the things I love most which is being close to nature. After all I am an island boy at heart. I can't help but wonder sometimes if I am a disappointment to my father. I think maybe because he saw something in me that I never did. Sometimes I do regret my prevalent mentality of doing "just enough". I think father's want to see their sons excel. I know I do of my son but is it fair when I myself am guilty of the very thing that all derelicts with great potential succumb to? My pile of ponder gets the best of me sometimes.
Some days I am confident. I can grab life by the horns and control my own destiny. Some days not so much. I am afraid of tomorrow and whether I would be up to face the challenges a new day brings. There are other people that depend on me being able to fight the daily battles. I am here because of them and they are here because of me. My job is to maintain that balance.
Have I made it? The answer is I don't know. But what I do know is that there is no proverbial "made it" point. Its about transitioning and adapting to the different circumstances in your life and then deciding whether you want to move up, down or stay the same.Which way is really up to you.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
American Dream not so sweet anymore
The current recession we are trying to dig ourselves out of was a result of the housing crisis. During the early to the middle part of the 2000's the housing market experienced a bubble. Loosely defined, a bubble is a situation where prices of a commodity experience growth levels that are not sustainable. So what that means in the real world if you buy something on a bubble you are probably over paying for it. As it turns out when it was time for my generation to transition into home ownership and raising our families, this was the market we inherited.
Purchasing your first home is supposed to be the most exciting time of your adult life. In our case it certainly was. But ironically it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. I kick myself every damn day thinking I should have known better. I was wrong and I have to live with it. There was so many so called expert opinions on housing at the time it made everyone feel like, "you must buy now or risk being left out". I wont rant on the shortfalls of Wall Street as it is outside the scope of this blog, but I will say the whole thing was a fucking mess and as usual the victims are those of us that comprise the middle class of America.
I lost 55% of the value of my house. I held on for almost three years thinking that there has to be something in the pipeline for people like me i.e. not in "real" financial trouble but have suffered a severe loss in home equity. I tried to get a loan modification but kept getting denied. So much for the federal stimulus package. Bail out the bitches who caused the mess in the first place. The issue was I never was able to satisfy the first criteria in that I had to have some sort of financial problems. Basically, paying out more that I bring in on a monthly basis. I didn't lose my job, I don't have mounting medical bills, outstanding credit card debt, etc... I was guilty and being punished for being a model citizen. Seems like all the help out there was for people who got themselves in shit. Those of us that tried our darned hardest to stay out of it were left to rot in the consequences.
I decided to foreclose on our mortgage. And just as predatory as the lenders there's an equally predatory market of agents that claim they can help! Go figure. Everywhere you turn there's always some asshole who tries to make a sucker out of you. I have had enough. I had to lick my wounds, take my losses and restart the machine. Foreclosure was the best option for me. I am wounded by the amount of money I sunk into this place. It also means that I can not buy a house for at least seven years but in seven years I would have saved $100k just by renting a house bigger than my current house. The irony is so palpable its ridiculous.
I am ambivalent about the whole situation. A part of me is sad to see my first ever home being lost and the other part of me is relishing in the money I will be saving by not overpaying for a house. I should have followed the first wave and bailed two years ago. I have learned a very important lesson by observing my American counterparts. In this country decisions you make should be based on financial consequences. Everything else is being naively hopeful. After all America is a "Capitalist" country.
American Dream temporarily on hold ...
Purchasing your first home is supposed to be the most exciting time of your adult life. In our case it certainly was. But ironically it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. I kick myself every damn day thinking I should have known better. I was wrong and I have to live with it. There was so many so called expert opinions on housing at the time it made everyone feel like, "you must buy now or risk being left out". I wont rant on the shortfalls of Wall Street as it is outside the scope of this blog, but I will say the whole thing was a fucking mess and as usual the victims are those of us that comprise the middle class of America.
I lost 55% of the value of my house. I held on for almost three years thinking that there has to be something in the pipeline for people like me i.e. not in "real" financial trouble but have suffered a severe loss in home equity. I tried to get a loan modification but kept getting denied. So much for the federal stimulus package. Bail out the bitches who caused the mess in the first place. The issue was I never was able to satisfy the first criteria in that I had to have some sort of financial problems. Basically, paying out more that I bring in on a monthly basis. I didn't lose my job, I don't have mounting medical bills, outstanding credit card debt, etc... I was guilty and being punished for being a model citizen. Seems like all the help out there was for people who got themselves in shit. Those of us that tried our darned hardest to stay out of it were left to rot in the consequences.
I decided to foreclose on our mortgage. And just as predatory as the lenders there's an equally predatory market of agents that claim they can help! Go figure. Everywhere you turn there's always some asshole who tries to make a sucker out of you. I have had enough. I had to lick my wounds, take my losses and restart the machine. Foreclosure was the best option for me. I am wounded by the amount of money I sunk into this place. It also means that I can not buy a house for at least seven years but in seven years I would have saved $100k just by renting a house bigger than my current house. The irony is so palpable its ridiculous.
I am ambivalent about the whole situation. A part of me is sad to see my first ever home being lost and the other part of me is relishing in the money I will be saving by not overpaying for a house. I should have followed the first wave and bailed two years ago. I have learned a very important lesson by observing my American counterparts. In this country decisions you make should be based on financial consequences. Everything else is being naively hopeful. After all America is a "Capitalist" country.
American Dream temporarily on hold ...
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